My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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