Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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