dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
