Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
