Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
