booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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