Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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