all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
