the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
