I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
