I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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