she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
