10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
