I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
