Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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