Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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