he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
