I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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