i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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