look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
