just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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