I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
