what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
