I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
