If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
