you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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