i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Terrible idea I love it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
