kristin has been a bad kristin
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
