just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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