My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
