Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
