i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
