he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
