im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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