ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
