Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
