yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
