I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
