found the other keg... it's in the tree
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
