I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
soo... how was my night?
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