that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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