Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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