you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
