Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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