garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
