Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
