sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
