New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
