it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
