Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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